Poetry: quiescent ontogeny (shedding September skin)


Dear Hope


go back some steps and paint the rest the colors they were meant to be.

parasites preventing psychology-
absent sounds without answers, potential apart metamorphosis.
the mistakes were easy,
splitting monochrome apart of the omniscient wind.

and they never learned anything.

I couldn’t escape the quiescence of ontogeny
descending east or west in our
oblivion as nothing-
these spider webs bury dead
under my intuition
ashamed of my own decisions
refusing to light,
but the flicker always subtle in the night,
aggressive how I wanted to make it shine.

we’re butterflies with broken mirrors,
scintillatingly self-reflecting that our deepest fears will never resonate with
the man under the bridge or the
child in Idaho or the
part of my father i never want to see in myself,
but always will.
hand-crafted maps fade because we’re told to abandon
as if this growth was a virus and not a blessing…

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DEAR HOPE PREMIER: Sabrina Kennedy’s “If Only” Official Music Video


A music video brought to you by We Must Be Broken starring Real World star Sabrina Kennedy

Dear Hope

Today, Dear Hope is proud to premier the official music video for “If Only”, the debut single from MTV Real Word star Sabrina Kennedy.

The video is inspired by our Consumed photography series that we have been working on since the Fall of 2015. The project aims to use photography and body art to demonstrate the internal battle that people with depression and anxiety face externally, because so much of the stigma and stereotypes surrounding mental health conditions exist because we can’t physically see them the way we see a physical illness.

Anthia 0998Alex Yell Edit

But It’s not all in your head. It’s real. And we hope that by spreading awareness and bringing people together through community, art, and story telling we can help people feel like they are not alone – they are loved.

Here’s what Sabrina had to say about “If Only” and her own struggle with depression:

“If Only represents a very hard time in…

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Poetry: Dream/Nightmare by Zachary Johnson


Check out my new journal entry! Peace to everyone 🙂

Dear Hope

I fell asleep into another place and time.
Somewhere in between where the strings align toward another galaxy.

Isn’t the idea of space and motion dimensional in your mind?
The cheddar craters of the moon are dense similar to the unconscious walls in this place.

Sideways in suggestion, the memories channel it all back.
I wasn’t sure if I would come back, or not.
In this zone I am immortal, premature youth, everlasting eternity.

Unity cherishes us entirely.

Elevate between perishable digressions.
Infinitely vague by others preliminary impressions.
I didn’t know where I belonged past these paper-thin sheets.
Travel its forsaken boundaries that separate our inception alike.

Maybe if I sat here Saturn would pass this by.
Setting fire to sleeping burdens in every constricted corner.

I woke up.

I could be drifting off again please excuse my thoughts.
They don’t seem to fit this occasioned equation.
Problems fate couldn’t…

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Mental Illness Through Photography: Anxiety


Check out my buddy Paul’s new amazing project that depicts mental illness through photography. SHARE SHARE SHARE

Dear Hope

Consumed Logo Edit

What if mental illnesses were shown on the outside? 

Would we still be afraid to ask for help?

The slideshow below is showcasing some of the shots that were taken during my last photo shoot for my project ConsumedAs someone who has personally fought both depression and anxiety I looked for a way to personify this invisible illness that no one can see.

How does anxiety feel? 

Anxiety creeps up on you and suffocates the surrounding air. You can feel it approaching but theres nothing you can do to stop it. It consumes you with the idea that what could go wrong, will, and leaves you stuck in your tracks. As the thoughts continue a depression sinks in as you realize that you are not the one in control of you thoughts. 

And then you start to feel alone.

Consumed by your illness.

I hope these photos help you represent…

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Farewell to Sound


Conceptz was a blog about concept albums and the stories they tell. It also told the tale of the music industry today.

While this isn’t the last you’ll see from my writing, I decided not to go ahead and blog about music anymore. 

I would love to stick to poetry and creative writing so if you could share my blog, I hope that I could build a fan base that appreciates my crazy experimental work.





Act I:

P:  The outside world perceives me as an uncracked nut waiting to be opened up

in the life I had not yet known.  My arms curled securely at the surface that enclosed my dwellings. Eyes closed in anticipation of new beginnings.

P: I wonder what they would be like. I want to know how they would care for me in the late utterances of the night, where my cries of adolescence spark interests of caring souls.  Nightingales spin the bed toys of so many little critters, hovering over like constellations.  Make a wish and say goodnight.

P: What would they say when they saw me? Was it everything they could muster when they picked me up in disbelief? Fingertips quivering for fear that the time would never reach the destination of that day.

P: Tell me something.  Have you ever felt so alone in the corner of your room where the shadows change patterns all over the blank walls. Your hand slides down its rough contents, but still not real. The watchtower clock ticks vivaciously over the months, but still nothing close to what you seek because it’s not the touch you feel when you’re alive.  But at the very same time, as you commenced your darkest hour, you were inches… no centimeters from being whole. I swore I would never be the same again because you both were never there.

Act 2:

  1. I was terrified when I called you and there was no answer. I wonder if they heard anything in particular.  The response of wavelengths disappearing into the nothingness of that bug you couldn’t catch. A net only familiar with wind as it slips through gridded openings.

P: My parents, Alexandra and Bryce continued a conversation. I wasn’t sure of this location, but there were so many people.  So many faces.  I saw their expression and how they talked to each other.

B: “Are you ready sweetie?  This is what’s best for us.” Bryce said discreetly as he scratched his beard and looked sincerely into my mother’s eyes that bled of hazel and dismay.

Act 3:

Their wedding was a tale of distant love. The man, my father from Michigan worked at his family’s ranch in hope that his dreams surpassed the cattle’s scattered hay. His flannel lay sweaty in the fields of complacency, but never turned back to these actions unfamiliar to his shelter.

Her story, my mother originated in the depths of forsaken love. Her memories of past relationships run parallel to broken hearts, stinging bitter of arrow dart perversions. Alexandra swore that nobody was worth the healing of her wounds that repeatedly scraped the surface.

A local bar was a pathetic place to meet.  After work through curiosity they decided to greet.  Eyes met from across the room like the awkward contacts, removing themselves from the bar’s wooden stools that shook like the foaming beer ale.

A one night stand led to more on the balcony where the grapevines tangled the web they weave.

Act 4:

P: There was a moment of suspense.  Almost as if the room stood still in the wilderness with nothing moving.  Like the foliage falling from an evergreen tree, as it hits the ground time passed, but the leaves never did…then the wind picked up.

P: I could see my mother started to tear up, but I was confused where her emotions came from.

A: “I remember we talked about it so many times, but now that I’m here it just seems so surreal. I feel like my body is frozen and I just don’t know”, my mother exclaimed.  Her hands now covered her eyes and my father was there to comfort her as he sat in the chair next to her with sympathizing arms.

P: She continued whimpering, almost as if she lost all hope in seeing me. Almost as if I was a broken memory.  I was so close to her.

B: “We can get through this together.  What happened has happened and we’re here now to right our wrongs” Bryce said.

A: “I just want to see his face and the joy he could bring to our family.  I don’t want to say goodbye” Alexandra gasped.

B: “This is the hardest step Alex”, Bryce admitted.

(His hand now clenched to her palm as she held her head back in agony)

Act 5:

P: I never saw this coming. I’m scared I can’t be fixed. This couldn’t be the end for me.  The end for us. I never began my journey and I never took my first step.  A crawling movement, no my first words never left my toothless mouth.  The lies you told, they poured into the cobwebs of the forgotten shed, building up for me to fall down this slanting slope I travel. I just wanted to be human. Was this too much to ask?

P: I saw the suction tool progressively slither closer to where I was in pink matter.

My time was up and I had no answers.  No reason for believing in these people if you could even call them that. Monsters that hid my destiny. The doctor steadily approached the region I was in.  The currents were harsh and I couldn’t stand my ground.  A storm was brewing as the tea kettle hisses.  You could see it all.

P: Goodbye ever-long, may we never meet again.

(My body ripped into the pieces that never fully developed as the tubes sucked me in with piercing sounds. Feeling it never coming back, as I painfully drifted into the unknown.

A: Alexandra in shock screamed, “My baby”!

American Idiot


Music and sports are easily my two favorite luxuries in life.  Both serve as entertainment and arts that can be perfected by talent and hard-work.  There’s something similar to sports teams and bands because they all have a common goal and that’s to be successful either by selling a ton of albums, or winning championships.

We see it all the time.  Where are my Patriots fans at? Ever here “Welcome to the Jungle” during the kick off, as Stephen Gostkowski steps back to boot it.  I think we all get chills running down our spine anticipating a monster hit and crappy field position for the other team.

What about your favorite fighter like Floyd Mayweather coming out to the ring with old school 50 Cent bumping for the crowd to get excited about?  When you hear it you start to crack a smile as he slowly proceeds with unmatched focus of a fighter’s spirit.

Heck we even have Halftime shows at the Super Bowls where artists like Katy Perry and Missy Elliot put on routines to keep the crowd involved and excited.

Music is the extra cherry on top when it is used in spots effectively.

In a post on the Billboard site Cathy Applefeld Olson comments on the correlation between the two arts. “It all comes down to the song and the message the team is looking to relay. Certainly a superstar is going to get much more consideration than an unknown band, but the playing field is pretty even. If there’s an artist no one’s heard of but the song is perfect, that’s going to win out over a superstar.”

Music and sports combined is unexplainable. The music serves as motivation through the lyrics and amplifying riffs.  The sports acts as the execution through every move and every mental not to never give up and conquer your fears on the field.

Kintsugi – Death Cab For Cutie


Check out this great review of Death Cab For Cutie, a band that always seems consistent and has been doing it for many years.

The CD Critic

Indie-rock band Death Cab For Cutie offer up their latest album ‘Kintsugi’, their first album in their long career featuring a different producer following on from the departure of member Chris Walla. On ‘Kintsugi’, we see Death Cab for Cutie offering up more of their quintessential and charming indie-rock music, partnering together lead singer Benjamin Gibbard’s introspective lyrical style with enjoyable instrumentals. In many ways, it’s a very typical Death Cab for Cutie album, featuring accessible and enjoyable tracks that are certain to become popular fan favourites, though there’s elements of experimentation here and there, showcasing the band as one who are always looking forward and making attempts to broaden their own style in any way they can. 

There’s a lovely element running throughout ‘Kintsugi’, which seems to push forward a forlorn and somewhat diminished perspective on love once again (differing from the bands’ previous 2012 album ‘Codes & Keys’)…

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Ride This Train


People all over the world find music as their passion and how could they not? We all build relationships and build off each others song selection and album choice.  In every best friend that I have, music is probably the strongest part of our friendship aside from video games and sports.

There is satisfying music out there, go out and find it.

People are always being poked at for their music choice, but what’s wrong with having your own preference?  One of the red flags that alerts me about this situation is when people only listen to the radio and never look for different songs and albums.  Ya know never doing any soul searching.  Always biting the spoon that is shoved in their face.

There is satisfying music out there, go out and find it.

Not everything on the radio is good music. I know that only a select few songs make the cut when it comes to radio play and that to me is just very limiting.  The radio is known for hip-hop,pop and country.  THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER GENRES. And how can you listen to the same songs over and over again when you not only here them on the radio, but every store you go in and every annoying commercial.

“As far as musical taste is concerned, no one should feel bad about their taste in music. The only bad thing is to limit yourself without exploring the vast rainbow of styles and genres. With today’s technology, there’s no excuse to remain unaware of what’s available.”-Gary Horsman

I would have never found the bands I loved by just listening to the radio, like a machine almost abiding by the same process.  There is no A Day to Remember, or Chance the Rapper on the radio.  You have to go out there and never settle for less because I think we as music lovers deserve better than that.  So many sites like Soundcloud and Spotify have music “Discover” applications where so many talented artists and bands are supplying music that you could grow to love. I also like to go to “Related Artists” on Spotify and endlessly roam through different sounds. Listen to people’s suggestions, check out different websites and explore!  

There is satisfying music out there, go out and find it.